


Freddie Goes Shopping

by thepfeffernusse



Category: Original Work
Genre: Hyper Ass, Oblivious, comedic, huge ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:15:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28449027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepfeffernusse/pseuds/thepfeffernusse
Summary: A woman with a ridiculously huge ass goes grocery shopping. She's oblivious to her extreme size, but no one else is—at all.
Kudos: 5





	Freddie Goes Shopping

"Hey, lady!"

Freddie walked across the parking lot, ignoring whoever was calling out to her as was her habit at this point, although whoever was yelling at her continued, unabated.

"Give me your number and I'll show you how to use that thing sometime!"

The thuggish, teenaged offender continued calling out to her and howling as his friends laughed and mocked him. Freddie entered the grocery store without breaking her stride or looking their way. She was used to it by now, but she didn't know why they always seemed to target her.

Everyone else that looked at her knew exactly why, but not sweet, lovely, innocent Freddie Jones. She had always had an uncommonly prominent backside since her freshman year of high school. The boys on the football and basketball teams had always called her their ‘secret weapon’. The players on the opposite team would inevitably lose focus and stop to stare at the cheerleader with the huge bubble butt; her skirt more often than not hiked up over her shelf-like ass, which also frequently devoured the cheer briefs built into her uniform and left absolutely nothing to the imagination. By senior year they had forced her to stop cheering because the school board was getting complaints about ‘that obscene cheerleader’ at Brookhaven High. Freddie hadn’t understood what was wrong, but had done as she was asked.

Later in life, as the pampered housewife of a successful businessman and a mother of three, she had really blown up back there. Each child seemed to add about a dozen inches to her already absurd hip measurement, while the rest of her body remained disproportionately svelte and trim. She was just about the nicest lady you would ever meet, but she was also impossibly oblivious of her own girth and her ass was enormous. Humongous. Gargantuan. Positively Brobdingnagian. The sheer width of her hips took up the whole sidewalk when she walked down the street and her husband always had to walk just in front of her to hold her hand because there was no room at her side. Her tiny waist only served to make her look even more cartoonish, as if a normal woman had been grafted to the hips and legs of a giant. Everyone in town had finally stopped trying to explain to her that her butt was far beyond the ordinary and just let her get on with her life.

Freddie grabbed a shopping cart and made her way back to the produce section. She needed to get everything on her list for dinner tonight before she had to go pick up the kids from school. As she made her way from the entrance into the store proper, the employee who had just entered the large bay where he deposited his carts stopped and stared in awe at the sight of Freddie's massive ass swaying and wobbling as she walked away.

"Daran!" Hissed a cute coworker of his from the nearest cash register. “Don’t stare at Mrs. Jones! She’s a friend of Mr. Hanessey’s!”

Daran kept staring.

Let him fire me, then. He thought. Worth it.

As she entered the produce area, Freddie pulled her phone out of her hip pocket, which required a good deal of reaching and stretching to achieve. She checked her list and methodically made her way from the greens and carrots to the onions and potatoes until she had everything she would need. She felt her hip bump hard into a nearby display and had to reach out and grab a falling bag of onions that had been jostled loose.

These displays are too close together. She thought with mild irritation. I suppose they only have so much space, though.

She replaced the bag of onions on their display and walked on, her hips alternatively bumping into the stands on one side and then the other as she went; knocking several bags of produce to the ground in her wake, though she didn’t notice as she consulted her phone once more. She then turned her attention towards the butcher's section after checking her list. She needed several pounds of beef for her stew that evening.

As Freddie moved on with her shopping, a new stock girl–a college student from out of town–came behind with a cart of fresh produce to find that her carefully placed onions and potatoes were now all over the floor. Annoyed, she looked for the culprit and saw a woman with the most ridiculous ass she had ever seen waddling away from the area. Stunned into silence, she stared open-mouthed and disbelieving as Freddie made her way towards the butcher’s counter. The newcomer looked around for someone, anyone, who had also witnessed the insanity of the woman’s body only to find that the closest person was the manager, Mr. Hanessey. He shot her a look that demanded she return to work without a fuss as he walked toward her location. She immediately returned to her piles of cabbages and other assorted vegetables and began to place them on the stands.

As she stepped up to the counter to wait for her friendly neighborhood butcher to help her, Freddie missed her pocket and dropped her phone. It slid across the polished tile floor and landed several feet away from her. Sighing with exasperation, Freddie walked over to it and bent to pick it up. If she had been even the slightest bit more conscientious of her condition, she would have noted the ominous creaking of her custom-tailored jeans as the seams stretched and popped from the strain of holding back her flexing and bulging buttocks.

The butcher came out to the counter to help the lady who had been waiting and saw that it was Freddie, who was a well-known and beloved regular of his. When he saw that she was currently bent over, her wide, round ass suspended in the air by strong thighs and calves that bulged inside her tight jeans, he leaned over on top of the counter; his chin resting on the palm of his hand as he considered what it must be like for her husband to have all of that whenever he wanted it. Freddie stood up, resolutely placed her phone into her pocket and walked back to the counter.

“Hi, Jim!” She said with her trademark smile.

“Afternoon, Mrs. Freddie,” he replied. “What can I get for you today?”

“I just need a decent chuck roast, about three pounds will do. Cubed for stew, you know how I like it.”

“Yup, coming right up. I’ll chop it up for you, just the way you like it. You come back by here in about five minutes and I’ll have it all weighed and wrapped up for you.”

“Thanks!”

Freddie walked away and Jim stood there, casually checking her out until she turned the corner into the dairy aisle. Once his show was over, he turned and walked back to the processing room and began cutting up Freddie’s order.

"I don't know," a disgruntled man said as he turned around to make his way back to the front of the store, headed for the checkout.

"They seem to think I can do everything all at once, I just don't know how I could possibly get–"

He stopped talking as soon as he saw the woman walking in his direction. An ass so big as to be visible from the front was not a common sight in his daily life, but the woman before him had enough to be visible from space. Whoever was on the other line seemed to be asking for him to go on or at least acknowledge he was still there, but he was completely distracted by the magnificent specimen waddling his way. She continued to head straight for impressive him and he began to wonder if this was all some weird sex dream when she started to reach out in his direction with one hand, her plump lips spreading to begin to speak to him.

"Would you mind if I just reached past you there?" She said to him politely. "Just need to get some of that butter just behind you. Ah, there we go! Thanks! Sorry to bother you."

She then walked right by him and he watched longingly as she swayed away from him, her bulk leaving his sight forever in all likelihood.

Freddie made her way up the long aisle, leaning over on the handlebar of the cart in a casual way. She felt herself catch on something and found she was completely wedged in between the two shelves on either side of the aisle. She nearly wriggled free, but then her hips slid into place between an upper and lower shelf on each side and she was firmly stuck.

Why does this always happen to me? She thought.

Fortunately, her dear friend, Mike Hanessey, was walking up and down the aisles looking for her. As he approached her, Freddie waved and smiled at him. He stopped just in front of her as she stood there, firmly stuck in place.

“Mike!” She cried happily, genuinely glad to see him as she always was.

“Shelves too close again, Freddie?” Mike asked her stoically.

“Looks like it. Is it a prank your employees like to pull on people or something?”

“Uh, not exactly, but I think maybe they get pushed together a little every time we restock them. Once you do it for the six hundredth time they’re bound to have moved a good bit.”

Mike usually tried to tell a few white lies for her benefit and make her feel less embarrassed about her situation whenever she got herself into these situations. He tended to think Freddie was in denial, but he was misreading the situation. Freddie wasn’t in denial. Nor was she dealing with some sort of a complex, she simply hadn’t ever wrapped her mind around the fact that her enormous posterior wasn’t normal in the least.

“Well, Freddie, can you wiggle yourself free?”

“No good, Mike.”

She showed him how stuck she truly was by attempting to move her hips to another angle, nearly toppling a fully loaded shelf over in the process. Her mountainous ass cheeks wobbled in place for several seconds even after she had stopped moving and Mike swallowed hard, reminding himself that he was a married man and Freddie was an old friend. Giving up on freeing herself for the moment, Freddie slumped forward, her upper body suspended in midair, held aloft entirely by her giant hips. Mike only sighed.

“I’ll have them bring the forklift around again, then.”

“Thanks, Mike." She said it without raising her head. "I’m not sure how this keeps happening.”

As Mike Hanessey walked away, Freddie tried one last time to free herself and heard the shelves shift unsteadily. Sighing in defeat, she admitted to herself that she would just have to wait until they fixed the shelves. It really was ridiculous.

Her name was Freda Jones, but everyone called her Freddie. She was as nice as a sunny spring morning and as sweet as cherry pie. Her three kids were each at the top of their class and her husband was a successful businessman. She was always humble and polite to everyone, despite her success. Essentially, she had managed to make the perfect life for herself and was content in every way. Everyone loved Freddie, but they all agreed: that ass was a beautiful menace.


End file.
